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Five Stages of Grief

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Stages of grief
By: Phil Roeder

When I was little I used to follow my Papaw around everywhere. Out to the barn to see the cows, to the hen house to check for goose eggs or to the garden to dig up turnips. We would dig up the turnips, wash them off with the hose and sit on the porch swing together. He would get out his pocket knife and cut pieces for both of us. I was his shadow, saying papaw this and papaw that. Since I was the first grandchild he was not used to being called papaw and soon I became known as Pepeye; A play on the word papaw. He was a gentle man, he teased everyone he knew. He drank Budwiser beer and chewed tobacco. My fondest memories are of him in the garden planting zinnias and picking beans.

Losing someone you love or care deeply about is very painful. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. I was lucky, I had my Papaw for 38 years. Even though I don’t have my Papaw here on earth anymore, I have my memories and pictures to sustain me until we meet again.

Weep bitterly and passionately; observe the proper period of mourning for the person. Mourn for a whole day or maybe two, to keep people from talking, but then pull yourself together and reconcile yourself to the loss. ~ Author Unkown

Your days of grief will come to an end. I, the Lord, will be your eternal light, More lasting than the sun and moon. ~Isaiah 60:20 (GNT)

The five stages of grief:

  • Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
  • Anger:Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
  • Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
  • Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
  • Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages – and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in. I went back and forth between two or three of them and sometimes I was in two stages at once. It’s all normal.

Common Symptoms of Grief

There are also common symptoms of grief which include:

  • Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth.
  • Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness.
  • Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do.
  • Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful.
  • Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks.
  • Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.

All of this is disturbing, but none the less, normal.  My information source is Helpguide.org

The post Five Stages of Grief appeared first on We Three Crabs.


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